So I was sitting in Spanish before class started and I had nothing to do. Then the dream I had last night popped into my head. After I thought about it, I was so fucking depressed. Since I woke up late today and had to rush for school, I didn’t have time to think about it.

In all the years I’ve known you, we have never legitimately hung out. And the one time we finally do… it’s in my dream. When I realized that, I was so sad. I just want to get rid of you already, and I think the reason I can’t is because I know it’s my fault we’re like this. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for ruining our friendship — one that could have been great.

In my dream, we were at our old middle school. We were joking around with each other, looking through each other’s notebooks, and whatnot. You pulled out one of my notebooks which I drew all over, and I snatched it out of your hand. I don’t know why, but I believe it was because I wrote about you in there. Anyway, I flipped through the pages while only showing you a few pages I thought were “safe” for you to see.

We were actually hanging out with no awkwardness whatsoever and enjoying each other’s company. We were so happy.

And then I woke up.

I thought about that dream the whole day and every damn time I did, I went back to being sad. I don’t even know why. It’s just a damn dream and besides, you don’t play a significant role in my life anymore.

So why is it affecting me this much?